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Upgrade your plan

Every message uses one braincell. Same idiot on every plan, you’re just paying for more of his braincells.

Free

£0forever, sadly

For the curious and the tight.

Your current plan
  • 3 braincells a day
  • Standard hamster
  • Replies when he gets to it
  • Unlimited reading of the disclaimer
Most popular with people who’ve lost an argument

VI Plus

£5for 10 braincells

For people with a situation.

  • 10 braincells, use them whenever
  • He reads the whole thing, even the long bits
  • Hamster gets a biscuit first
  • Braincells never expire. His do.

VI Max

£15for 30 braincells

For people with an ongoing situation.

  • 30 braincells
  • Everything in Plus
  • Extended context window (he’ll try to remember the ferrets)
  • Bragging rights, technically

When he’s busy

Secure checkout by Stripe. Braincells land in your chat on this device a few seconds after you pay. Paid braincells never expire, and any not answered within 7 days get refunded. Terms